First Post of '08

Nearly everyone coach associated with the 2007 Dolphins season was canned this week, including Cam, and Jeff Ireland will be our new GM. Cam first. Honestly, Cameron's chances of retaining his job didn't look too good when he was left out of all discussions involving Parcells. Well, that and only earning one win. I figured he'd get another shot, and, no, not because Bobby Knight is pals with both Parcells and Cameron. Seriously, nearly every prognosticator mentioned Knight as the reason why Cameron would keep his job, as if that f#$ing mattered even a little bit. As far as Ireland goes, cool. I got to read up on the guy.

Things are moving quickly, and it appears this will, in fact, be a truly exciting offseason. Lots of picks, $25 mill in cap space, Chad Johnson to Miami? (A steal or Joey Porter Part II?) Tony Sparano is said to be the leading candidate for the head coaching job, but I'm a little disappointed Jason Garrett isn't mentioned nearly as much. A former coach in Miami, a young, Parcells "guy" -- it sounds perfect.

Posts will be sporadic for the time being, which, considering the pace Parcells is dealing with things, doesn't speak well for my dedication. Deal with it, Rubberneck.

Ricky to Start

Strange. Armando says Ricky will start at Pittsburgh tonight, but so far, no one else is reporting this story. Seeing as though this is pretty big news I would assume at the very least that ESPN would pick up the story, but nothing as of yet. Add to my skeptism the fact Mando broke the news via his blog -- not exactly the first place I'd go with the scoop of the week, but hey, what the hell.

With a Ricky start we can go ahead and say so much for Cam being a stickler for good behavior. All that squeeky-clean garbage doesn't put notches in the win column. This guy is desperate. A five-time offender of the league's drug policy? Nah, no problem. You're our guy.

Way to represent the organization. You're all class, Miami.

Bullshit.

Phins sign safeties Darius, Thompson...and J.B. Brown

We can't blame the Phins for procrastinating. As expected, the team signed Donovin Darius, and also added a former Titan -- Lamont Thompson. Looking on the bright side, at least we got some experience back there, and regardless of whomever wins the safety job, I assume the other will line up in the nickel and dime packages.

Thompson's not a bad signing considering the short notice. According to the Sun-Sentinel article, he accumulated 77 tackles and three picks last season (Pro Football Reference says 55 tackles. I assume these are unassisted).

These two will do.

To make room, Miami cut defensive end Akbar Gbaja-Biamila, which is a tad shocking seeing as though he kicked ass in the preseason.

Meanwhile, it looks as if Jason Allen is sitting tight at the cornerback position despite his background as a safety. This poor guy's got a target on his back.

Ginn signs

Booya!

Real quick: I've read some of the comments on the Herald's Web site and some of them are classics, including this one:

"[Ginn] better be as good as Devin Hester or else, what a wasted draft pick."

In which I would respond with: Even if he did have a better year than Hester, Ginn WOULD STILL BE A F$%^ING WASTE OF A FIRST-ROUND DRAFT PICK!! YOU F$#%#ING IDIOT!!! HESTER WAS A F#&^ING SECOND-ROUNDER!!! YOU DRAFT F#$%ING SKILL POSITION PLAYERS IN THE F&*^ING FIRST ROUND, NOT F#$%ING KICK RETURNERS!

If everything works out the way it should, Ginn will prove his worth as a wideout.

D-NiceNess Weekend Recap: Arrests and Polygamy

I just returned from a nice little Sabbatical to Pittsburgh, a trip fueled by scores of ballpark beers, old friends and a terrible Pirates team shut out by Woody Williams. But that's neither here nor there. I've since caught up on the latest Dolphin happenings.

Here's what I find either worthwhile, entertaining or both:

Man, the Dolphins are getting more criminal by the day. That's what I thought to myself when I read the headline "Campbell Drug Charges Put Dolphins Atop NFL Arrests". This after I laughed uncontrollably and attempted to chest bump a fellow library visitor (He denied my request...that jerk off). Seriously, I was only kidding when I said I wanted to see more Dolphins getting arrested. Apparently, Campbell's drug use and NOT his assumed love of Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon and patchouli is what led to his release.

Incidentally, Joey Porter was dinged 100 Ger for jacking Levi Jones in the kisser, but he was not suspended. Perfect. Nicely played.

Second-round pick and future hopeful John "Boy" Beck has officially signed with the team, and, in celebration of his signing, every man in Utah has added four more wives. Kudos, boys. At least when those white-shirted gentlemen show up on my front door pedaling the Book of Mormon, there's a slight possibility they'll be donning Beck replicas.

The Sun-Sentinel blog is full of training camp happenings that are updated quite frequently. For now, this is close as I get to witnessing the orgasmic thrill of 7-on-7 drills and "Reggie-Roby like skyscraping punts". God, I can't wait for the season to start.

I think Dan Le Batard is a major tool box. His writing is fine and dandy, but it's usually so f#$#ing smug that I feel compelled to write him a short, two-word e-mail. Something like "Kill Yourself", "Eat Me"or the always-effective,"You Suck". Add to that his PTI appearances -- where, to me, it seems as if Le Batard's only goal is to convince the world he doesn't actually suck but is merely a huge boner. His latest column got under my skin because (1) it's Le Batard writing about the Dolphins, (2) he uses a forced analogy involving scorned lovers, and (3) he's so f#$$ing right it makes me ill. Damn you.

Green Traded to Phins

Well, I'll be damned. Trent Green's a Dolphin. The Sun-Sentinel is reporting that Green has officially been traded for a 2008 fifth-round pick that could become a fourth-rounder if he dominates, which is ... not to be completely cynical here but ... highly unlikely.

That Ol' Carl Peterson. That ol' stubborn curmudgeon got the Phins to yell "Mercy". Kudos, Carl. You ol' sonofagun.

Here we go. We got our potential opening-day starter. Though our "plan" was completely unconventional in that we're...eh...what?... a few days from the second mini-camp?

Our QB depth chart now looks like Green, Lemon and Beck. I would advise John Boy to not get comfortable on the bench. Something tells me he'll see some action whether Green performs well or not. As far as C-Pep, his fate with the Dolphins appears grim. I'm sure we'll be hearing a lot more of him in the next week or so.

OK, back to Green. He's 36. He nearly got his head taken off last year, and now he's running the show for a team that's gone through 10 QBs since Dan the Man (May I add, The Tan) left. Green's working with a revamped line that's been in the rebuilding stages since Moses parted the Red Sea, but this new, young, draft-built core should be the foundation for years to come. Apparently, teammates love the young cats and their work ethics. Granted, this means nothing to Green, who probably won't be around in two years anyway, but, hey, at least we're bringing in some new blood at a position that has desperately needed it.

For Chambers, Green is an obvious upgrade from Harrington, so I would assume he'll get some deep balls this year. Then again, we say this every year. Don't we?

I say, Great. Suit him up, and let's get started. Just keep Greeny from running out of the pocket, Cam.