Game 2: DAL @ MIA

Hmm...it's week two yet it's already starting to get difficult to be excited. Dallas rolls into Miami after completely abliterating the Giants last week, and there seems to be no reason to think the Dolphins won't be the latest victim of Romo and his silly ears.

Yes, I've stooped to mocking his ears. How third-grade, I know. Let me have this, though. To wet your proverbial whistle for Sunday's game, check here, here, or here.


The obvious, beaten-to-death question this weekend involves Miami's defense against Dallas' offense, specifically the secondary against TO and, I can't believe I'm mentioning this, Jason Witten...the tight end. (Yes, one of the big concerns this week is whether our linebackers and secondary can contain a 265-pound "receiver"). No one believes our secondary can cover TO. In fact, Renaldo Hill, Cam Cameron, Brandon Fields, Reggie Roby (RIP), Scott Secules and my library coworker, Flo, know damn well that TO will go over 100 yards with a couple scores.

However, our defense is damn good...and by defense I mean our front seven. I wouldn't be surprised if Miami holds Dallas under 20, but the question still remains whether our offense can muster up enough zing to crack double digits in points.

In short, hold Dallas under 20, we have a slight chance.

I'll be watching:

...The Offense. Can they surprise me, for the love of God?

...Brown and Chatman (Still unknown whether he'll suit up) Sure, the offensive line's a joke, but it's not changing anytime soon. As impressive as Romo and TO looked against New York, the Cowboy defense blew. Let's see if Ronnie can keep some drives going and, hey, maybe even help us score in the redzone! What a thought, huh?

...Joey Porter? We signed him, right?

...Third-down conversions. I don't think I've ever seen a team struggle as much on third downs than the Dolphin squads of the past few years. This is one of the many reasons we are continually awful.

...Safeties. Come to think of it, who's starting in Bell's place? Worrell, Lehan, Darius, Thompson?

...Trent Green's "pocket presence".

...for any Dolphin on offense to show any kind of leadership skills. Hell, even a hand-clap after a first down would be nice. Maybe a fist pump after a 10-yard slant. Basically, any kind of life from the offense would make my week.

Forecast: For the first half of regulation, Dallas starters hang around the locker room, sipping daiquiris and competing in a Street Fighter 2 tournament (Terrance Newman picks up the win, shocking even more so because of his character choice: Dhalsim). In the third quarter, they arrive and do just enough. Ginn scores the only touchdown for Miami on a 87-yard end-around and his family joins him on the field for the TD celebration. Cam brushes a tear from his right eye. Dallas, 19-13.