High-Fives to You, Jason Taylor

This is why Jason Taylor is one of my all-time favorites, and judging by some of his answers, he couldn't be a more perfect teammate.

Would you agree to play for free if it meant the Dolphins would make the playoffs?
JT: Playoffs, no, Super Bowl, yes. I’ve been to the playoffs before, our goal is not to make the playoffs, it’s to win the Super Bowl. [Our goal is] not to win 10 games or make the first round of the playoffs and see what happens. I get up every day and go to work, to win the Super Bowl, anything less than that is not a success – in our eyes, the fans eyes and our owner’s eyes.

...and this...

Can you win a Super Bowl with the Dolphins?
JT: I truly believe we can, if everyone buys into what we are trying to do, if we all give up bull crap excuses and does what were supposed to do, I know we can win.

Read all of Taylor's no-bullsh$# answers over at the Sun-Sentinel's blog.

"Chambers Ready for (Another) Fresh Start"

I took Chris Chambers to task last week, but that doesn't mean I don't want to see him succeed. And just to show that I'm not one to harp solely on bad news, the Miami Herald reports that Chambers is apparently showing some progress, which I assume to mean he's picking up Cameron's style of offense. Good. Great. This news scratched my Chambers itch at the very least.

With that said, these graphs caught my eyes:

"Chambers would like to identify just what led to the drop-off in production that had this former Pro Bowl selection believing the prime of his career was slipping through his hands like a dropped pass. He just can't put a finger on one thing. Chambers -- like many of his teammates who struggled in the offense under the previous coaching regime -- doesn't know exactly where to start."

C'mon, Chris. Just state the obvious: Joey Harrington didn't throw to you, and the overall offensive play calling was, let's be frank here, f#$#ing garbage. That's a great start.

Now, unlike past seasons, we still can't say with absolute certainty who will set up under center on opening day. However, we can conclude that the Dolphins are doing everything possible -- new coaches, coordinators, QBs, schemes, etc. -- to make Chambers' career as difficult as possible.

Recap

After putting my guts through a four-day, holiday s#$ show, it's time for a recap on Dolphins news.

The Juggernaut has signed, leaving five draft picks without Hancocked contracts. Beck and Ginn included. In a rare bit of good Ted Ginn news, it looks like he'll be attending the team's next mini-camp. How much studying is actually involved in returning punts is beyond me, but, hell, it's a start.

The offensive line shuffle continues with Hadnot sliding over to right guard. A smart move or pissing in the wind?

I love the fact that Don Shula hates Nick Saban more than a typical Dolphins fan does.

Culpepper to Green: It won't be "peaches and cream." Unconfirmed phone tap records indicate C-Pep phoned Green's residence sometime last week. According to unofficial transcripts:

(phone rings)
Green: "Talk to me, Chief."
Culpepper in a muffled, poorly executed "Ransom" voice: "Is this Trent?"
Green: "Bet your bottom dollar, Cochise. Who's yappin'?"
Culpepper drops phone, and then retrieves it : "You ain't coming to Miami."
Green: "Repeat."
Culpepper: "I says, you ain't throwing the ball in Miami. No how. Never."
Green: "Daunte?"
(click)

And last but certainly not least, in this comical piece, Joey Porter is making huge strides with his fellow rookie teammates by leading as a leader should. How, you ask? Introducing them to his strenuous weight training regimen? Insight into complex blitz packages? Motivational speeches? Blackjack tips? Nope, none of those. Foregoing such conventions, he's put the team's rookies on his back and done everything possible to keep them from waiting 20 minutes in a club's VIP line. Kudos, Joey. Lead by example.

Do You Want Trent Green? Circle "Yes", "No" or "Maybe"; and the Retirement of a Columnists Cliche

Remember back in seventh grade? You liked the popular girl who played soccer, but you didn't know where you stood so you told one of her friends with hopes that she'd find out (she did), and then maybe give you a call (she didn't), so you both pretend to not acknowledge each other's existence for a few weeks, and then you call her bad names to your buddies during an R.L. Stine reading session and her Nancy Drew-reading accomplices overhear your remarks, tell your soccer-playing crush about it, and the whole deal goes to hell.

Yeah, that's pretty much how the negotiations are going between the Chiefs and Phins over Trent Green.

Each day brings more news. Today's involves the Chiefs not returning Green's agent's calls. Way to play hard to get, Carl. You're playing this whole scenario like a champ, really. I mean holding out for a fourth-rounder when Miami's not budging on a sixth is genius. Pull out all the stops, Carl. You've got the Phins in the palm of your hand. Surely, they'll trade for Green, right? It's not like they drafted a quarterback that will probably be starting by week three anyway, with or without Green. What the hell, dude, shoot for the stars -- demand a second-rounder.

On a side note: I hereby announce a bold, new initiative to eradicate the term "journeyman" when attributed to quarterbacks. From here on out, we'll refer to traveling QBs unable to hold a job with one team for at least two years as "ass clowns".

I Wanna Love Ya, #84, But You Gotta Show Me Something

I'm a big fan of Doug Pappas's work over at NFL Pro Reference, and he recently ran Chris Chambers through one of his complicated formulas. His research finds that Chambers had more opportunities last season to make a reception than any receiver in the league. On average, Miami's No.1 got about 9.7 balls tossed his way. He caught about 3.4, which is quite low. This shouldn't come as a surprise. Chambers looked like a completely different player from his breakout '05 year.

So what do we make of this? Makes Chambers sound quite overrated, doesn't it? But let's state the obvious, he's had a variety pack of QBs, coaches and coordinators. Fine. Clearly, that carries some weight. However, I refuse to except the Eric Moulds Excuse -- the "He can't get open because he's always double-covered" excuse. Bullshit. Great receivers get open. Chambers, clearly, is not a great receiver, regardless of who sets up in the No. 2 spot or in the slot. I don't need another season to point out this fact.

Back to performance, if there is one player on the team worthy of the term "inconsistent", it's Chambers. His 2005 season looked like he had finally grown into his role as Miami's top receiver, only to disappoint last year.

Each year, we read in the regular season previews about his need to "step up" or "meet expectations" or "silence the critics". Well, dudes, Chambers is entering his seventh season. When do we stop expecting him to be a game-changer? Isn't it about time to stop using the "He's young. He'll get it" excuse?

That said, I want nothing more than Chambers to be grouped with the likes of Dolphin greats -- Duper, Clayton, hell, I'll settle with O.J. McDuffie. In my opinion, this season is his last shot to finally showcase all that talent we've been hearing so much about.

More on Trent Green

The Trent Green Carousel goes round and round and round and round and still no deal. Tell you what, Carl Peterson, you keep Trent. I'm sure his competitive spirit will mesh nicely with the young gun and the guy who took his job last year.

Phins Links and "Porter Makes John Boy Uncomfortable in the Dolphins Locker Room" over/under line

A quick round-up of some of the stories out there.

Apparently, Vernon Carey is ready for the challenge of protecting the quarterback's blindside. Of course, now the next key issue is to determine which of the three or four QBs we plan to give the offense to. Carey should have a solid year. As a former first-rounder, I'm surprised he has yet to separate himself from the jokers we'd suited up over the years -- St. Clair, McIntosh, James, McKinney and let's not forget our old friend, Wade Smith.

Killer story written by Dave Hyde of the Sun-Sentinel on John Beck. Upon reading, Beck will now be known as "John Boy". One question: How in the name of John Smith is Beck, a Mormon with morals and a family man, going to respond to Miami? Talk about walking into Satan's playground. No grab ass, John Boy.

Taking this further, how many games will it take Joey Porter to make John Boy feel completely uncomfortable in the Dolphins locker room? Here's my prediction:

John Boy, fresh out of the showers, heads back to his locker.
Porter towel snaps John Boy.
John Boy, clearly in pain but trying desperately to cover it up, looks with fear over his shoulder.
Porter: "Nice game, Shirley."
John Boy: "My name's John, sir."
Porter: "Whatever, bitch."

We'll set the "Porter Makes John Boy Uncomfortable in the Dolphins Locker Room" over/under at 7 games.

Speaking of quarterbacks, C-Pep took some drops without any pain. You know what, good for Culpepper. I'd love to see him come back and dominate, however, I think his chances are real slim. I'm not a knee doctor by any means, but when a quarterback feels pain when doing everyday human activity, like, ya know, walking, how the hell can he possibly avoid 250-300 pound pass rushers? This dude's career is donzo, at least for another year.

I don't care if his mom is tossing him right hooks, just get Jason Allen ready.

Bell is The Niceness

One of the few surprises last year -- Yeremiah Bell -- has resigned with the team for one year/$1.3 million. Though I feel he should have gotten a longer deal, giving him one year to prove without a doubt that he can be a reliable safety seems like a smart managerial move.

It's hard to think of Bell without those terrible memories of Buffalo's Lee Evans smoking him a few times during the (OK, we'll just go ahead and refer to it as...) famous Sage Rosenfels comeback game in 2005. But I can't help routing for the guy. He's got a great story -- from the steel mill to the Dolphins secondary.

Rookie Fullback

I find it difficult to get excited about a full back, even those with comic book nicknames and You Tube videos. But if Reagan Mauia can be a go-to guy on the goal line, suit him up and let him run some people over. If there's one thing that pissed me off the most last year it was our inability to convert short-yardage situations. Granted, the line was/is awful, but when we're fourth and inches in our opponents territory and the best situation is to let Donnie Jones pad his punting stats, something's terribly wrong. Mauia, just get us in the damn end zone!

I'm not sure where he will fit in with free-agent signing Cory Schlesinger, but given last year's FB battle with a surprise Darian Barnes beating out an assumed starter in Fred Beasley, the starting job will go to whoever can contribute immediately.

Honestly, I don't know much about Mauia because, again, he's a f%$ing fullback!

Intro

Let's keep this intro brief. My name is Lou, born and raised in Western New York. Somewhere along the line, amidst all the shouting about Jim Kelly this and Thurman Thomas that, this dude came out a Dolphins fan. A big one. Of course, like the majority of Phins fans my age, I grew up idolizing a one Mr. Dan Marino.

"Armed and Dangerous" the poster read, hung among many others. And there was a swarthy Marino with a Malibu tan, standing in front of a ridiculously cheesy backdrop -- an aqua Corvette, parked beachside under a setting Miami sun. And old Danny boy, ball in hand, gym bag to his left, and a blazing pair of Dolphins Zubaz pulled old-man high up the waist.

Of course there was Clayton and Duper, the '92 team that I loved, Mark Higgs, Keith Jackson, Irving Fryar, Louis Oliver, Vincent, Klingbeil, Offerdahl. Forget Elway and Favre, you can have those clowns. These guys were my heroes.

OK, there's my introduction. This blog will serve as everything Dolphins because, dammit, I'm by myself in Charlotte, NC, and have no one to bitch to.